How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Randomize
