Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
