he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
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I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
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I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
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