my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Randomize
