I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
