Porn is love you can see.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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