the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
This is the high leading the old right now
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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