I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
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He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
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