But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
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