i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Randomize
