I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Randomize
