i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Randomize