So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Randomize
