just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize
