yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
