He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
i think im in europe. pls send help
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize