i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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