don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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