I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
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