What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Randomize
