I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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