dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
I should be sponsored by Trojan
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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