My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
just found out that she named her cat after me.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
