If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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