Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
