I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Randomize
