Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
