I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
