I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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