I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Randomize
