it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Randomize
