Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
