dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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