We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize