you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
