Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
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