This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
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His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
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You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
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