Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
You ruined the universe
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
