next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize
