so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
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