Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
it was like his penis was on wheels.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
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