I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
