i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Randomize
