there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
