she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
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