His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Randomize
