Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize