u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Randomize
