I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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