I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
