It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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