no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
