There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
