I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Every concussion has its silver lining
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
I came so hard my ears popped.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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