That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
