I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Ketchup is God's man juice
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
