You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
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