I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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