clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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