Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Randomize
