okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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